Episode 11: Towards the light
Fumiya is arrested before Hiroki’s eyes. Futaba’s fist is bleeding where her skin had split from the repeated punches she had dealt her brother, who has not showed any emotion or remorse for the murder of Aki, and she is treated in the first aid room at the police precinct. She wishes that they had not stopped Fumiya from committing suicide, but Hiroki tells her to think of their own future from now on.
“I think I would probably have done the same thing,
if it had happened again.
I would have saved him.
If I’d killed … … wouldn’t I be just like Fumiya?
I don’t want to be that sort of person.
I don’t want that for you too.
This is all for the best.”
Satsuki visits ‘Fukami’ when Hiroki returns. She has heard that Fumiya was moved to a detention centre, and believes it would be good if he were deemed mentally competent to be held responsible for his actions. However, Hiroki just shakes his head and says it is over.
At that moment, Futaba is at the hospital in Yamanashi waiting for Kusama and Yuri. Yuri rushes over to Futaba to enquire about her injured hand. Kusama tells Futaba not to come anymore as he does not want his granddaughter to get attached to her. In his opinion, the sincerity of an assailant’s family will not last more than a month. Furthermore, Futaba’s father has stopped coming. He says that Maki has been taken off the artificial respirator, and will no longer be able to breathe on her in less than a few days. But Futaba notices a tear slip down Maki’s face … …
Hiroki goes with Kyoko and Kohei to the grave where Tatsuhiko and Aki have been laid to rest to give them an account of the recent events. Futaba, Takami and Akari are also there because Kyoko had called them to come. As they are about to move toward the grave after the Fukamis have finished their visit, Kyoko asks them not to make any apologies or calls for retribution when they go before Aki because her daughter had had a short but happy life. Kyoko privately tells her sons that she feels this is enough, even if Fumiya never repents.
After the visit, Hiroki gets a chance to have a private word with Futaba at ‘Fukami’. He nervously confesses that he would like to be with her for the rest of his life. Futaba reveals that she feels the same way too and expresses her happiness to hear him say that. Hiroki smiles at those words. However, Futaba has already made a decision that she had kept to herself and the mood changes when she tells Hiroki that today is the last time they can meet because she will be taking care of Maki’s daughter, Yuri. She has beseeched Kusama to let her stay at the fruit orchard and be a surrogate mother to his granddaughter. Hiroki is taken aback by this sudden declaration and cannot understand why she has to be the one to shoulder this burden. He points out that Maki may never regain consciousness. Moreover, Futaba may be despised by Yuri one day when she learns of her relation to Fumiya. But Futaba’s mind is made up.
“I’ll accept it.
Because I want to live honestly.
I tried to determine if I could forget it.
And I think that I cannot.
I’ll be by Yuri-chan’s side
for 10 or even 20 years as long as she is around.
I intend to see this through to the end.
I believe that is what it is to be a mother.”
Tears fall from Hiroki’s eyes as Futaba apologises to him. She gives a smile while fighting back her own tears and leaves the shop. Hiroki remains seated in a daze. Then, he hurriedly gets up to chase after Futaba. He requests to have a date with her for just one day and she agrees.
Hiroki and Futaba have their date at an amusement park. It is the first time in 15 years that both of them have been to one. They spend a happy time together but sadness lies just beneath the surface. Futaba is glad that Hiroki had asked her out, but remains firm in her decision when he suggests that they come again the following week and gently prods her to reconsider becoming Yuri’s mother. She notices a tree with divination paper lots tied to its branches and remarks that she had once thought such trees were postboxes which had some marvelous way of delivering letters. (*lots with positive content are taken back home, while those that predict a negative outcome are often tied to trees or hung on ropes found on the grounds of a shrine.)
At that same moment, Shunsuke visits Fumiya at the detention centre. Seeing his son like this, Shunsuke starts to beat himself up, saying that he is to blame for everything. He feels helpless as he realises that he has no idea what to do and does not know anything about Fumiya. Then, Fumiya tells his father that he cannot remember his late mother’s face and agitatedly calls out for help.
That night, Hiroki and Futaba talk in a park while throwing small pebbles into a bucket in front of them. They chat about random impersonal things. Futaba shares that she had tried being a zookeeper of animals other than the koala bear which she dislikes, but when Futaba tells Hiroki to talk about himself, he claims that he is boring. This prompts her to launch into a speech in his defence as he mockingly accuses her of making fun of him and tries to ask her about Valentine’s Day.
“I regretted going to meet you the first time.
But I’m glad that I did.
You’re not particularly interesting,
but it’s rather interesting to talk to you.
I also know a great deal about your good points.
You’re normally kind.
When I recall your kindness, it brings tears to my eyes.”
Alarmed to feel tears brimming in her eyes, she makes Hiroki turn so that his back faces her. As they sit side by side like this, Futaba makes a clumsy attempt at comfort, telling Hiroki that many good things will happen to him in the future. He may even marry Miss Universe. Naturally, Hiroki’s response is that he would be happier with Futaba. Wiping the tears from her eyes, Futaba reins in her wavering heart and declares that their time is over. She gets up and thanks him for today. But when she waves goodbye to him, he does not respond and just stares intently at her. With a tremor in her voice, she points that out to him. That still elicits no reaction. And so, she walks up to him and thumps him on his chest, demanding to know if he is giving her the silent treatment because he is ignoring her. Hiroki suddenly takes her in his arms without any warning. Futaba stands in his embrace, and confesses that she is happy and wishes they could be like this forever … … But she is Fumiya’s sister.
To Kusama’s surprise, Futaba keeps her promise and arrives at the fruit orchard. On the other hand, Hiroki, who had told her that he would go and see her brother no matter how many times he is turned down, visits Fumiya. Even though he and Futaba are taking different paths, he feels that their objectives are the same. Fumiya enquires about Futaba, but Hiroki tells him that she is no longer his sister. Just before the visit ends, Hiroki takes out a photograph of a smiling woman cradling a baby which Shunsuke had entrusted to him. Fumiya cries at the sight of his mother.
Time passes for Hiroki, Futaba and their families. As if their minds and hearts are linked, they write one message after another, which they tie to the branches of trees in front of ‘Fukami’ and at the fruit orchard, in the hope that their thoughts would reach each other.
there was a terribly heavy evening shower today.
I saw tears well up in the eyes of a former friend.
The streets washed by the rain gleamed after the shower stopped.”
a cat and its kitten settled down at Kusama Farm recently.
We named them Nasuka and Moai.
I linked fingers with Yuri-chan as we watched Nasuka and Moai play around,
and promised that we’d be together forever.”
I wake up at 5.30 am every morning during this period
to sweep up the dried grass with a broom.
I can feel the season changing each day.”
I had an afternoon nap while reading an illustrated book with Yuri-chan,
and dreamt that I was carried away by an elephant’s nose.
I also received a letter from my father.
I wrote a rather long reply, and when I put them side by side,
I noticed that my handwriting and my father’s are very similar.
Then I thought of the stir-fried udon that my mum makes,
and tried to copy it.
It was alarmingly unappetising,
so I ate it alone.”
my mum still cries sometimes.
But just now when the purchases came up to 777 yen, she laughed.
For example, she’d cry on Mondays and Thursdays.
And smile on Tuesdays and Fridays.
I think it will continue this way.”
I took the train to the hospital with Yuri-chan.
We listened to her mother’s heartbeat,
and on the way home we went to the shopping centre.”
I’m dazzled watching the morning sun.
I thought of you all day today.”
for some reason as I watch the morning sun,
I having a feeling that you’re watching the same sun too.
I think of you all the time.
That as my hand is held,
someone would hold your hand … …
That the feelings in that hand would reach you,
you would be on the other side of sorrow,
and move on.”
Some time later, Hiroki goes to return the video that he had borrowed 15 years ago … …
- Soredemo, Ikite Yuku – Episode 10
- Soredemo, Ikite Yuku – Episode 9
- Soredemo, Ikite Yuku – Episode 8
- Soredemo, Ikite Yuku – Episode 7
- Soredemo, Ikite Yuku – Episode 6
- Soredemo, Ikite Yuku – Episode 5
- Soredemo, Ikite Yuku – Episode 4
- Soredemo, Ikite Yuku – Episode 3
- Soredemo, Ikite Yuku – Episode 2
- Soredemo, Ikite Yuku – Episode 1