Soredemo, Ikite Yuku – Episode 5 Synopsis

Episode 5: The quest for a place where she belongs


Hiroki tells Satsuki that Yukie, who had been Fumiya’s attending nurse at the juvenile medical reformatory, has gone missing. He suspects foul play. Satsuki volunteers to help him search for Fumiya. She reveals that there will be no emotional closure for her family because her mother’s killer has committed suicide. At that moment, Futaba comes over to ‘Fukami’ and gets flustered when she notices Satsuki. Futaba is here because she has nowhere to go, having learnt of the secret of the birth of Fumiya and herself. When she stays over at ‘Fukami’ that night, Satsuki tries to find out Futaba’s feelings for Hiroki.

Meanwhile, Fumiya takes Saho, who knows about his past, out for a ride. He drives the truck right into a dark forest and Saho grows terrified. She tells him that she has to wake up early the next morning. To which he icily responds, “Do you think tomorrow will come? How do you know it will come?” If she forgets that he is Amamiya Kenji, she will be put in a nocturnal place … …


When dawn comes, Satsuki returns to Tokyo. Futaba could not sleep the night before and wakes up late. Her father comes for her just as she is about to go home. Shunsuke asks Hiroki if he can meet Kyoko to apologise for what happened 15 years ago. He pledges to find Fumiya in the belief that the hyuga natsu will lead him to his son. Hiroki shows Shunsuke the picture that Fumiya had drawn just before leaving the juvenile reformatory, and makes the observation that Fumiya has no intention of repenting. Shunsuke is lost for words.

While her father and Hiroki were talking upstairs, Futaba dozes off at the table. Shunsuke prompts her to go back with him. Futaba asks about the woman who had given birth to Fumiya and herself. Shunsuke replies that she is dead. He had remarried when she was a year old. Fumiya, who was five at that time, remembers the change in mothers. Hiroki inadvertently overhears their conversation. After that, Futaba goes home with her father.


That night, Hiroki goes to the Higaki residence and tells his mother that Shunsuke wishes to make an apology. Kyoko says she does not wish to see Shunsuke because she hates him to death, but Hiroki persuades her that meeting to talk about it might lead to something. He wants her to get what she wants to say off her chest, to move on with her life, to be happy … … Then, Kohei, knows what they have been talking about, walks in on them. He declares to Hiroki that their mother is happy now. A happiness that he has created. On the other hand, at the Toyama household, Shunsuke and Takami are having a talk. Shunsuke thinks it would have been better if they had separated. At least she and Akari could have had different lives. But Takami tells him her feelings at the time she made the decision to become Fumiya and Futaba’s mother.

“I don’t regret marrying you or my decision to be a mother to Futaba and Fumiya.
I still remember the time when I held Futaba’s hand.
That child squeezed my hand back.
I wondered how such a small baby could have that sort of strength.
I thought she wouldn’t be able to live on her own.
And felt that I had to protect her.”



The next day, Hiroki and Satsuki get in touch with a former colleague of Yukie’s at a cafe. When they leave the shop, Satsuki encourages Hiroki to launch proceedings against the family of the assailant, but he shakes his head and says he will not. Satsuki, who has discovered Futaba’s identity, asks “Why are you with the family of the murderer who killed your sister?” She passes him an envelope which contains a magazine article with a picture of Takami and Futaba at the time of the incident.

That night, Futaba comes over to ‘Fukami’ with two cans of beer. She and Hiroki enjoy a relaxing time in each other’s company. Knowing that she must be feeling down, Hiroki even attempts to comfort her. He throws away the envelope which was passed to him by Satsuki in the afternoon. However, it is discovered by Futaba who picks it up and peers inside. She had been intending to spend the night, but leaves a note behind and goes off. As she stands in front of the train station, she calls a worried Akari and lies that she is with a friend to reassure her family. Her sister’s kindness touches her and she cries.


Hiroki receives a call from his brother while he is working. Hearing that their mother has gone missing, he rushes over to the Higaki household. Just as Kohei starts to accuse Hiroki of deliberately agitating Kyoko, she returns home. Kyoko tells the worried Higakis and Hiroki that she had gone to the place where Aki was murdered by retracing her footsteps that fateful day. Ever since Aki was killed, she had not cared if she died and had shut her heart off. She envied other people, and desired misfortune.

“If people see my present self, they may think that I’m rather composed.
But … … that is not the case.
I have lived wishing that everyone would suffer like me.
If people were kind to me, I would think, “What do you understand?”
When I see mothers with their children, I’m put off.
If I’m told to live with a positive outlook on life,
I’d wish to die.
I’m sorry. That’s the person I’ve been, all along.
Ah, that won’t work. I’ve to love people. I’ve to have a positive attitude.
Five minutes after that, I would wish that everyone would die.
I’m sorry.
If a child is taken from her mother, she is no longer a mother.
Maybe no longer human.”



Kyoko had wanted to die today, but then she dreamt of Fumiya and realised that she and Fumiya are alike. They are humans who have stopped being human. And if she died like this, her daughter would be sad for her. With that realisation, she had for the first time, felt a desire to live. She says she will go and meet Fumiya and ask him to return Aki to her. Although it is hard for Kohei to believe, Hiroki accepts their mother’s feelings.

Kyoko moves out to live with Hiroki at ‘Fukami’. Someone comes to ‘Fukami’ while Hiroki and Kyoko are organising her belongings. When mother and son head downstairs to answer the door, they find Takami standing in front of them … …

At that moment, Futaba, who is searching for a place where she belongs, is at her grandmother’s nursing facility. She asks what she should do and falls asleep by the bedside. Then, someone enters the room. Futaba is roused from her sleep and sees her brother standing in front of her … …


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About jadefrost

This blog contains information and musings on current and upcoming Japanese dramas but is not intended to be comprehensive.
This entry was posted in Fuji TV, Soredemo, Ikite Yuku, Summer 2011 Dramas and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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